Meet the new oscar, a well-performing and efficient unemployed

I haven´t been working on an office desk since April 3rd, which means tomorrow I would have experienced 8 months of waking up late, skipping breakfast in favor of lunch (or sometimes even skipping lunch and have only dinner). Yes, I am a lazy bastard.

What people doesn´t know about us jobless lazy-bastards, is that we are well-performing and efficient people. Even though I go to bed at 2:00 a.m. with no worries of being late for work. But let me tell you about my performance (and we all know that performance is something very important nowadays).

Environment: At the moment I consume less groceries as usual, apparently because I am living on a permanent stand-by-modus in which I move so little around the apartment that I also require less energy, and therefore less fruits, vegetables, bread and dairy products. Yes, mother earth is surely thankful with me for requiring not so many of her ressources

Energy: Since I am living on this “stand-by-modus”, my muscles need to perform less movement as normal (I used to ride my bike to work every day) and this lack of sporty-activities have a positive impact on my energy consumption, and therefore on the water-heating costs. This is how it works: Since I sweat less, I require less showers a week. I will not tell you the exact number, but the amount of weekly showers has decrease; to that we can add the amount of saved chemicals (shampoo and soap).

Cognitive-performance: even though I am not working, I cannot tell my mind hasn´t been occupied, I recently saw all five seasons of Breaking Bad in only 2 and a half weeks. Oh yeah! That is what I call performance!

Meet the new oscar: environmentally friendly, up to 25% more energy saving and complex-media consumer, just like a champion.