jueves, 19 de enero de 2012

When you think a situation cannot get any worse...it gets

This Monday was very cold. In the morning, I rode my bike to work. This ride lasts 20 minutes, and that day, it was so cold that after 15 minutes I thought of giving up. I couldn't feel my fingers, streams of chilled air (-15C) went through my pants and my face was completely red and aching...but I continued and safely reached my destination.

A colleague from work and I talked recently about this and she said something very nice. I will quote her "When one thinks it is impossible to continue, one can still go a little bit further". I think it is a beautiful sentence, however I instantly modified it to fit into the way life often is: Shitty! This is the new quote "When you think a situation cannot get any worse...it gets" 

I can provide you with some examples:

Once I was in the kitchen, I dropped a knife which felt on my barefoot, while getting the knife away from my foot (it got stuck), I hit my elbow on the funny bone with the table. It was horrible! The worst thing was that when I got stood up again (I bent to pick up the knife) I hit my head with the handle of a sauce pan. I am not kidding, this really happened.

Another time, I was in London with my brother, and on the first day, I was brushing my teeth and when I finished, I spit and in that exact moment, my brother wanted to put his toothbrush under the water tap...of course I completely spit on his toothbrush. He was so pissed of and I was laughing so strong, that I accidentally hit his arm so strong, that he dropped the toothbrush and it landed in the water closet.

This is the latest: Right now, I am at a friend's, I am babysitting (baby is safe and asleep, so I can write these lines and sip some wine), well, today nothing had gone wrong until the moment I entered this apartment: I came in, I took my winter-boots off (in Austria, people usually take their shoes off when entering an apartment/house). And then...well, it is not that I like my friend, she is indeed gorgeous, but who wants to give a bad impression? Not me! well, as soon as I took my boots off, i noted a strong cheesy smell. I am not exaggerating, my feet really smell like cheese in this moment! My first reaction was to run into the toilet and perform a quick test to be sure it was my feet. The results of the test were positive, so to calm down, I took a pee (I was already there seating on the WC, so why not?). I was about to finish when the child I am baby-sitting now opened the door and said "o car" (I think she meant Oscar). So, there I am, seating on the toilet, peeing, sad and nervous because of my feet and there is a 2 year old child staring at me laughing.

...I thought this couldn't get any worst, so I let some fresh air into my socks, i stood up, flushed, buckled my belt, washed my hands and with no self-esteem at all, I went to the kitchen, and my friend  asked me: Do you smell that?

lunes, 9 de enero de 2012

I cannot describe how I love to look like a guy from a 1970's erotic film

I cannot remember writing about style, even though my blog was once described as a Cosmopolitan for men, but the tiem for writing about it has come:

Every guy has style, but not all styles fit them.

I once found a Mexican website specialised in tacky people, there I saw an amazing picture of a guy in an aeroplane laughing to the camera wearing sunglasses...big mistake, the poor guy looked pretty stupid.

I think we all have seen dozens or hundreds of Italian men wearing sunglasses even when it is dark outside (or bight inside)...even thought those Italians look stupid, they don't look as stupid as that Mexican in the aeroplane...and I know why: Because Italians don't take pictures of themselves laughing.

I cannot describe how I love to look like a guy from a 1970's erotic film, or simply like Burt Reynolds.

Some days ago in Chihuahua, my brother gave me an old sport suit in overweighted-Italian-gangster-from-New-York-style. Yeah like the Italians from the movies of Scorcesse, De Palma and even Jarmusch (you see this kind of sport suit in Ghost Dog and Coffee and Cigarettes).

My brother was fascinated by the idea that I was going to travel back home wearing it in two of the biggest airports in the world Houston and Frankfurt. And I had to do this...with style.

So, the problem was “How can I not look stupid wearing that stupid sport suit among thousands of tourists, business men and celebrities?”, and the answer was easy: don't laugh.

Here some pics, enjoy yourself:
in the VIP area

many Oscars with moustache

as any jet set, I had a jet lag

after resting at the VIP area...right at the gate

I traveled of yourse, on a Thursday

back home